Now Playing Tracks

“I was eating souffle at Rise Restaurant with Laura and two buddies…”

that’s GWB explaining the circumstances of how he was contacted by President Obama about the capture of Osama bin Laden.

But we, the American public, still have so many questions:

  • Did Laura have to get a to-go container for the rest of George’s souffle?
  • Did George make it back for dessert?
  • Isn’t ‘souffle’ a bit elitist and wimpy for a ‘steak and taters’ good ol’ boy?
  • Will the rightwingnuts have to revise their litmus test of ‘Presidential’ by asking: “Who would you rather share French cuisine with?” instead of “Who would you rather have a beer with?
  • When they’re going to dine at Rise – or any other French restaurant – does George call it a Freedom restaurant?
  • Does Rise serve arugula?
  • Who were the two buddies? Saudi royalty, Halliburton executives or Wall Street CEOs?
  • Did George celebrate bin Laden’s death later in the evening by dressing up in the flight suit again?

It’s less than a week to Judgment Day. Be prepared with a Rapture Hatch!™

image: epic4chan

Imagine your family’s frustration without a Rapture Hatch. Who wants to be stuck to the ceiling during the entire Tribulation? Haven’t you earned the right to a front-row seat in Heaven, watching the sinners suffer below?


image: laughingsquid

You can be prepared!

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union