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    Vanity Fair: Re-capping the Lost Second Season of Sarah Palin’s Alaska

    It’s been announced that SPA is not renewed for a second season:

    .

    Here, a re-cap of the second season of Sarah Palin’s Alaska.

    Episode one: Sarah and her children, Willow and Piper, venture into the wilderness where they stumble upon a trenchant parable about the American way of life.

    Episode two: Willow, Piper, and Sarah take an overnight campaign trip. When they see a fox lurching underneath a branch and stalking her pray, the gang learns a valuable lesson about liberty, freedom, and the benefits of small government.

    Episode three: Sarah’s niece McKinley joins Sarah and Todd for snowmobile fun! After four hours in the snow, McKinley becomes cold, demonstrating the fallacy of anthropogenic global warming.

    Episode four: With Bristol home from Arizona, Sarah and Todd cook a traditional Alaskan meal: salmon, king crab, and baked Alaska. The meal is so delicious that by the end of dessert, everyone has agreed that the U.S. should invade Iran.

    Episode five: Sarah and McKinley spend the day ice skating. After four hours on the ice, McKinley becomes cold, demonstrating the unconstitutionality of the 16th Amendment.

    Episode six: It’s time for Bristol to return to the Southwest. At the airport, Sarah tearfully embraces her daughter as they both consider embryonic stem cell research.

    Episode seven: Piper and Willow go for a walk around their house and spot two bunnies. Thrilled, they tell Sarah, who suggest feeding the bunnies some carrots. Later, Sarah comes to see the bunnies herself, and to set the record straight about capital punishment.

    Episode eight: Sarah takes Piper for a drive around Wasilla. For September, it’s a bit rainier than usual, probably because of something having to do with illegal immigrants.

    See also: Sarah Palin’s Alaska re-capped by a bear.

    — 3 years ago
    #sarah palin  #sarah palin's alaska  #no second season  #TLC  #humor 
    Patriotic Americans do not care for the Tea Party or Sarah Palin →

    Apparently the Tea Party isn’t speaking for many people in America today, except for a few sad, self-described “Christian racists patriots” who are still devoted to Beck and Palin:

    Two months after they voted in droves to topple Democrats from the House and expand Republican voices in the Senate, the tea party movement’s disapproval ratings have reached a new high, according to a new ABC/Washington Post poll.

    Fifty-two percent of the US public had an unfavorable view of “the political movement known as the Tea Party,” the survey found, as opposed to only 35 percent who approved.

    And Sarah Palin’s Full Metal Self-Exposure is finally getting to people — she’s earned herself some record high unfavoribility ratings:

    Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin reached a new milestone Wednesday, and it wasn’t a good one. Her unfavorability ratings have reached record highs, according to a recently-released CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll.

    According to the survey, Palin’s unfavorability rating stands at 56 percent, its highest ever, and up seven percentage points from a similar poll taken before the midterm election. Her favorability rating, on the other hand, currently stands at 36 percent, the survey finds, down two points since October.

    So it’s no surprise that the tea partiers and Palin are ranked highly on the following list:

    The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010

    9) Tea Partiers

    Charges: Openly racist and lying about it, uber-religious, hyper-hypocritical, usually-tetched old codgers who wheel around in their Medicare-provided Hoverounds® and rage against fiscally irresponsible social programs, like Medicare, because they’re too dumb to realize that they’re co-opted, Machiavellian mouthpieces of greedy billionaires.

    Aggravating factor: They elected some 40 candidates to Congress.
    Sentence: The consequences of their actions.

    6) Sarah Palin

    Charges: An ideologically abhorrent dunce whose answer to everything—caribou, wolves, Julian Assange, feminism, science, decency, accountability, the English language, Democratic incumbents—is to shoot it dead. From conspiring to advance her ham-legged, clopping daughter on “Dancing with the Stars” to successfully endorsing a slew of faux-revolutionary Tea Party imbeciles, she’s a persistent, violent rash on the entire body politic.

    Aggravating factor: “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”
    Sentence: Shot in the head by a bear.

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/04/15/alg_boston_sarah-palin.jpg

    — 3 years ago with 1 note
    #all time high  #America  #Americans  #patriots  #polls  #sarah palin  #tea party  #unfavoribility ratings  #usa  #humor  #politics 

    Bill Maher to the TeaParty: The Founding Fathers would’ve hated your guts

    “…and what’s more, you would have hated them. They were everything you despise: they studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bullshit.”

    — 3 years ago with 2 notes
    #bill maher  #real time  #founding fathers  #tea party  #conservatives  #republican party  #gop  #politics  #religion  #humor 
    How a rightwing circle-jerk works →

    MMFA:

    RUSH LIMBAUGH: This governor out in Hawaii, Neil Abercrombie — a well-known socialist, by the way, longtime member of Congress, is now the governor of Hawaii…

    What does he mean “well known?”  Actually Limbaugh references a July/2010 article from WorldNutDaily. TOTALLY well known, right?

    Now that Rushbo has re-educated his Dittoheads, expect this information  to spread rapidly through the teabagger hotline via Pajamas Media, Fox and Friends, and Drudge (and, finally, the ALL CAPS emails full of rage and red and blue font) — then, Bingo! Abercrombie will, indeed, be a well known Socialist

    — 3 years ago with 2 notes
    #humor  #politics  #President Obama  #Republican Party  #Tea Party  #birthers  #circle-jerks  #dittoheads  #Hawaii  #Neil Abercrombie  #rightwing  #Rush Limbaugh  #Socialism  #socialist  #WND  #world net daily  #world nut daily 

    Have you seen Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time?  You must.

    Moar at SwedishMealTime

    — 3 years ago with 2 notes
    #humor  #video  #sweden  #vikings!  #swedishmealtime  #regular ordinary swedish meal time  #cooking  #swenglish 

    Centrum “Strip Poker”

    Feel young again

    — 3 years ago with 4 notes
    #humor  #centrum silver  #strip poker 
    So this exists: “Let’s Roll… to a Stop” — Sunday, March 13
So this is real. It’s being planned by some patriotic highly confused teabaggers who still love Sarah Palin (i.e. weirdly horny baby boomer men with chemical erections*), who want to show the world how clever they think Palin was when she called Obama’s plan the “Road to Ruin”… apparently? In any case, I’m sure Fox News will be there.
Here is what is planned (this is a link to a “patriotic” red, white, and blue webpage — natch! — featuring eagles, flag, and the statue ‘Raising the Flag at Iwo Jima’):

• Sunday, March 13th, 2011 – 4 PM Eastern, 3 PM Central, 2 PM Mountain, and 1 PM Pacific time;
•  We want everyone to get into their cars, trucks, motorcycles, RVs,    Semis, box trucks, and any other vehicle, and drive to your nearest    highway or main route;
•  Don’t go far, just enough to get in a safe position to pull over   to  the shoulder, and park, engine running, headlights and flashers on;
•  Why? To take a cell call, or make one or several. After all, law    enforcement recommends that you pull over to the side to take your call    or text.
•  Hook up a boat trailer, a snow mobile hauler, or anything to make   the  line look miles and miles long, bring your tractor-trailer;
• Set up a long motorcycle run to a STOP;
• Get your car club involved to show off those great hot rods and collectibles;
• Imagine others driving by wondering “what the heck”? Wave to everyone;
•  Get ten friends to do the same; or go to an over pass and hang    temporary signs saying – “Time to stop!” Just imagine the imagery! But    be SAFE!
•  Once pulled over to the side, place calls or texts to your   friends,  take pictures, send tweets, flood Facebook with messages and   photos,  along with several million others on other highways across the   land.
•  Stay one hour if you can, get your friends to do the same, line up    all your vehicles in a safe manner as far off the side as you can, and    hit your horns.
• One hour gives the media a chance to react, a chance to get footage. Imagine the traffic reports!
• Hang a sign inside your back window, or use temporary soap to write a message safely on the window;
• Be a part of millions of people saying: “Stop the madness, we are pulling over and just stopping!”
Imagine the image, when every news outlet in the USA must take notice.
Helicopters  recording the event, YouTube filling with videos from   every spot in  America, with one message: “Just Stop”! Imagine seeing 300   cars pulled  over for miles in California, in Texas, in New Jersey…etc.
Imagine the evening news and cable stations saying, “What the heck is going on?”
Do  the math. If a car is 17 feet long, and 10 feet is maintained   between  each vehicle, it takes only 195 cars to stretch one mile.   Imagine 500  tractor trailers pulling over for one hour! That’s over   seven miles!
Be SAFE though!

It’s funny, but it’s real. Freedumb! 
There’s much moar: Angry Black Lady: Stand Up America: Palinites to Drive Their Cars and Then Pull Over and Sit There for an Hour
*Bob Cesca‘s awesome phrase

    So this exists: “Let’s Roll… to a Stop” — Sunday, March 13

    So this is real. It’s being planned by some patriotic highly confused teabaggers who still love Sarah Palin (i.e. weirdly horny baby boomer men with chemical erections*), who want to show the world how clever they think Palin was when she called Obama’s plan the “Road to Ruin”… apparently? In any case, I’m sure Fox News will be there.

    Here is what is planned (this is a link to a “patriotic” red, white, and blue webpage — natch! — featuring eagles, flag, and the statue ‘Raising the Flag at Iwo Jima’):

    • Sunday, March 13th, 2011 – 4 PM Eastern, 3 PM Central, 2 PM Mountain, and 1 PM Pacific time;

    • We want everyone to get into their cars, trucks, motorcycles, RVs, Semis, box trucks, and any other vehicle, and drive to your nearest highway or main route;

    • Don’t go far, just enough to get in a safe position to pull over to the shoulder, and park, engine running, headlights and flashers on;

    • Why? To take a cell call, or make one or several. After all, law enforcement recommends that you pull over to the side to take your call or text.

    • Hook up a boat trailer, a snow mobile hauler, or anything to make the line look miles and miles long, bring your tractor-trailer;

    • Set up a long motorcycle run to a STOP;

    • Get your car club involved to show off those great hot rods and collectibles;

    • Imagine others driving by wondering “what the heck”? Wave to everyone;

    • Get ten friends to do the same; or go to an over pass and hang temporary signs saying – “Time to stop!” Just imagine the imagery! But be SAFE!

    • Once pulled over to the side, place calls or texts to your friends, take pictures, send tweets, flood Facebook with messages and photos, along with several million others on other highways across the land.

    • Stay one hour if you can, get your friends to do the same, line up all your vehicles in a safe manner as far off the side as you can, and hit your horns.

    • One hour gives the media a chance to react, a chance to get footage. Imagine the traffic reports!

    • Hang a sign inside your back window, or use temporary soap to write a message safely on the window;

    • Be a part of millions of people saying: “Stop the madness, we are pulling over and just stopping!”

    Imagine the image, when every news outlet in the USA must take notice.

    Helicopters recording the event, YouTube filling with videos from every spot in America, with one message: “Just Stop”! Imagine seeing 300 cars pulled over for miles in California, in Texas, in New Jersey…etc.

    Imagine the evening news and cable stations saying, “What the heck is going on?”

    Do the math. If a car is 17 feet long, and 10 feet is maintained between each vehicle, it takes only 195 cars to stretch one mile. Imagine 500 tractor trailers pulling over for one hour! That’s over seven miles!

    Be SAFE though!

    It’s funny, but it’s real. Freedumb!

    There’s much moar: Angry Black Lady: Stand Up America: Palinites to Drive Their Cars and Then Pull Over and Sit There for an Hour

    *Bob Cesca‘s awesome phrase

    — 3 years ago with 2 notes
    #humor  #politics  #dumbest idea ever  #freedumb  #head-desk  #let's roll ... to a stop!  #march 13  #road to ruin  #sarah palin  #tea party  #teabaggers  #ZOMG 
    Are The Republican Battles Becoming Too Public? | The Onion →
    • Nov. 2008: Following their failure to capture the presidency, Republicans are split into two factions: one supporting the traditional elephant logo, and another backing a new logo featuring an elephant that has a machine gun for a trunk, sunglasses, and a humongous erect penis
    • Nov. 19, 2010: Mississippi governor Haley Barbour takes a swing at Mitt Romney, misses, and then has to sit down for 45 minutes to catch his breath

    More…

    — 3 years ago
    #politics  #humor  #the onion  #gop  #republican party  #turmoil  #2012